pirate elvis lives

Graceland was never going to be the same after the death of the King.

Of course, little did they know the King was not, in fact, dead. That was just one of the King’s clones that broke while the king himself was out on a mission.

That mission? Capturing every shipment of Chinese sneakers before they reach the ports. America must be protected from foreign sweatshop products, after all, and who better to conquer the hordes of un-American influence than the King of all Americana himself, Elvis Presley.

His Letter of Marquis was signed by LBJ. His ship was decked out in all the latest pirate technologies. The plank had a piano keyboard on it, to let the condemned dance a tune for their salvation. The galley had more friers than McDonald’s University. The crew were all musicians and actors, singing and dancing their way to justice. The carpets were plush. The bridge was a jungle room. Even in the prisoner’s cages, there was a high tech recording studio for anyone that finally caved in to their interrogations and decided to sing.

Yes, my friends, Pirate Elvis lives!


5 thoughts on “pirate elvis lives

  1. Piano keyboard is redundant. as an owner of a keyboard, it’s a type of piano. Just saying. But overall enjoyable especially since we just finished covering this section of history in American Foreign Relations. Tomorrow we start the age of Tricky Dick. Which I’m giddily excited about. I think this would make a good musical. You should work on that. The characters should be puppets though. Like in Avenue Q. I dunno what it is but puppets saying radical things are more ok.

  2. It’s really weird to me how sometimes I pre-date a blog entry and it shows up *BOOM* right away, and sometimes it works exactly as it is supposed to work and there seems no way to figure out how that happens.

  3. It’s really weird to me how I’m a good cook when I want to be. I think, I’m hungry I’ll just throw all these things together *BOOM* they’re amazing. Then sometimes when I’m like hey I should cook and not be lazy, then it sucks. I don’t think there’s a way to figure that out either.Or! Another example when bowling I can roll a perfect strike, then 2 pins, then roll a gutter, then *BOOM* another strike. That’s a mystery to me too.Sorry. I’m a goof. :D

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